Faith Dare - Day 1

This is day #1* of The Faith Dare book by Debbie Alsdore. And oh my goodness… This is NOT easy-peasy stuff here! As I was reading this first dare, I was thinking to myself "maybe I should have read through some of the dares before actually committing to blog this journey" J I could actually feel walls going up around my heart. It's a bit scary to invite God to open my heart and change me from within... And to do that openly in this blog is terrifying!
Although I grew up in a Christian home, deep spiritual things were never really talked about, so talking about such things in a personal
manner isn't really second nature to me.  Being a Pastor's wife and being in full-time ministry, I have learned to guard my heart, not letting people see the "real me", in fear that I will be rejected and unloved. But God does not want His children to live in fear.
As I sit here, praying and reading God's word, the one thing that I really sense God telling me is to "let go" (cue music… "Let it go…" from the movie "Frozen) I'm kind-of a passive-aggressive control freak. J I'm the plate spinner, you know, the person at the circus who keeps all the plates moving and spinning so that they don't fall to the ground and crash into a million-gazillion pieces. I need to keep moving and doing… I am afraid that if I stop, the world (or at least my world), will come crashing down. What I lack is FAITH. True faith that God loves me enough to care about EVERYTHING in my life, from the tiny stuff to the big stuff.
What is God asking me to do? STOP! And BE STILL! It's NOT my job to spin all the plates! God has it under control! He will not let the plates crash into a million-bazillion pieces! It's not my responsibility to figure out what comes next… it's my job to have FAITH that God knows what He is doing.
My challenge for today is to put my TOTAL faith in God. Yes, I have faith in God… but sometimes I become afraid that "this part" or "that part" of my life God is forgetting, so I feel that I need to step forward and spin the plates.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for loving ME*! Open my heart and cut out the stone of worry and fear. Teach me to fully rely on you and surrender my whole life to you. And even when I feel you aren't in control help me to know down deep in my soul that you love me and will never let me fall